Sheer Desire of Death
by SinDRegrets911
Summary: What is love? How could love start? Could loneliness really be so horrid, so painful? A temporary cure, before being solved with a permanent one: death. Sorry, hard to summerise this. Better summery inside, will not disappoint! RaitoxOC
1. Performance

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death Note! But I do own the origional character(s) in this series.**

Thank you so much Jiru-San (aRLegOdDesS)! You ar a great help and an awsome friend! tear It was thanks' to her that I even posted this chapter! You're so great!

Hope you enjoy!

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Maybe Raito was just using her for his own sake?  
Maybe he found something in her that just caught his attention?  
Maybe... he was trying to fill his own void of loneliness...  
Maybe... it was just out of sheer desire...

Either way, it would never last...

Death would soon take over...

**Performance**

A cool breeze on a warm night, a perfect night. A night neither of the couple would forget. A night to remember...

"Oh Raito I'm so glad you finally took some time off for me! I promise you won't regret this night!" Misa explained as her and her _true love_ set foot into a dimly lit restaurant.

Raito just nodded, he wasn't all too pleased with the fact that he was here with this over obsessed girl, but he pretended, he went along with this act. He did, after all, need a tool...

The waiter let them sit on a booth with a clear view of the mike on center stage. "You're just in time for the show," the waiter commented after stating the house special with a smile. Raito dismissed him, having no interest in the "Chicken with Pesto sauce".

A voice boomed through the room, an announcer? "Now for your evening entertainment and pleasure. The Siren of the Night, Sokuban Yosei!"

"What! She's here tonight!" Misa gritted her teeth, making a scene. Yet, inside... Deep inside, she was jumping with joy?

The stage light turned a pitch black; a solo note rang through the dim room - a serine rhythm out of a single note. A blue stage light flickered on. A woman now stood center stage. Clad in seamless black, she illuminated the stage. She was the stage...

Raito's attention was not on the gritting blond, but mildly on the raven girl in reflecting blue light. A slim figure she had as pale skin soaked in the blue hue.

Notes rang through the room, emotion translated in song, a tune, and a rhythm.

I gave my soul to the audience, my eyes still closed as I sang to the heavens. The tune was soft, but soon escalated into a higher pitch. I sing to the people above.

Eyes on my form...

No one was in the room, just the mike and me. Recalling the lost love I never had, the happy memories never felt, the kiss I only imagined...

Sweet desire in the flame of time. The warm embrace of one close to the soul, the heart...

The end was near, as nothing lasts forever. For that minute or two, I grasped my fantasy world, but I would never have it... never feel it... never embrace it...

Ending with the same note as I started, I let every note sink into the ears, the minds, of many. Let my fantasy be heard... for one last instant...

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Thank you for reading! And thank you again Jiru-San!

Hope to see you next time and I would love o hear your thoughts on this!

-SinR


	2. Foreshadow

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note! Desu No-to ga arimasen!**

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**Chapter 2**

**Foreshadow**

A breath escaped me. Peering at the audience, again, pairs of lovers sat together...

Sickening people... Too caught up on themselves to notice the world!

How I envy them and their ways...

"Your hair looks as raged as always!"

Directed at the woman on stage, a solo voice rang. The singer looked at the vertex of the comment, Amane Misa.

"Well Amane-san, you're as childish as ever." A single retort. The woman on stage gave a half smirk, or was it a smile?

"And you should really get your throat checked out, Amane-san. It sounds as if you have a frog stuck in there. Or, are you just in a bad mood?" Her tone was mocking. The blonde gave a grunt, cuddling closer to the man next to her.

The blue-lit woman never failed to notice the brunette beside Amane. Her eyes passed through his.

She gave a low bow, subsiding from the blue stage, but not before thanking the viewers with a wave of the hand.

"She's always too quick, never stays for the fun," mumbled the blonde...

I walked back out into the main room from the back. New clothes, new face, but the same eyes still etched in.

"Kuro!"

Making through the dim tables of couples, I came to a particular table.

"Amane-san, it's nice to see you again," a different voice...

"Sit! Sit!" Misa gestures to a spot next to her, across from Raito, "Kuro, this is Misa-Misa's boyfriend, Raito-Kun!" Misa exclaimed.

'_I really couldn't care less. '_

"It's him..."

That caught me off guard. She really went through with finding Kira!

I didn't bother to bring up the subject at the moment, but I would at a better time and at a better place.

I lowly stare at the brunette as I sat next to the ranting Misa. She gossiped of how she was so casually, but that was all she spoke of: herself and only herself.

From Raito to Misa, to Misa to Raito, I watched with eyes only. I hear Misa's words, but none really stuck, they didn't fully comprehend, they were just words.

Looking down at my hands, there was a slight quake to them. I turned back to the stage, the blue light haunting my mind. Was it really trying to torture me like this?

Whether you might believe it, or not, Misa and I were like best friends. However, as Sokuban Yosei, the **Siren of the Night**, Misa and I were opponents, enemies. But as Akume Kuro, I was her counselor, friend, and group... We were friends for so long... I suppose it was just too long...

"I'm going to go freshen up," she walked away with a wink and a blown kiss at Raito, who ignored it completely. Misa's boyfriend stared at me from the corner. We had yet to make eye contact. I hated staring, among many other things.

"If you have something to say, voice it! Get it off your mind."

Was it just my opinion, or did a smirk form?

Did he enjoy that comment too much to be normal?

"You were the singer on stage."

I stare at Raito rather indifferently.

"What if I was? Would you suddenly have an attitude change? Go all paparazzi on me?"

He still held that smirk. What was up with him?

"No, I merely wanted to say it was a pleasure."

Why was he so... different? I couldn't question him further because Misa just had to appear then and there.

"It's great seeing you two get along!"

Yes, we would get along quite well. In the near future, that is...

I would like to thank you for reading and to drop a comment!

**chibichibimoonstar**: Thank you for being my ONLY ommenter. You have no idea how much it means to me! It is a sad storry, and I guarantee there is not goin gto be a happy ending...

I thank you to anyone that is reading, again, and I will update in a week! Hope you enjoyed this and Review please!

-Sin


	3. Lies

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note and never will... Now let me cry in my own corner!**

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"_I'm leaving you!"_

_Waves of tears passed through the betrayed as I kept a soft note in the background. _

_She got up from the table, causing a scene. _

"_Calm down-"_

"_I will not calm down!" She was about to run, but was caught by the arm._

"_You're misunderstanding the situation," he stated solemnly. _

"_The situation! Me, misunderstanding?! Ryuga, you're cheating on me - with my enemy!" She went into tears, streaming continuously even when he took hold of her shoulders, holding her closely. _

"_Look at me," she obeyed, "I love you. I will never love anyone else; I cannot love anyone else. I was with her because of the duet and nothing further. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be mad. But don't leave me, because- Please."_

_They look into one another's eyes, knowing they could trust one another. _

"_I would have understood if you told me," she gave a smile, showing sincerity. _

_It ended with a kiss and the song went on. The picture was still at sight as the credits came, rolling before the viewer's eyes. The song changed from a sappy love struck one, to one of Sokuban Yosei's greatest hits. _

--

"That was absolutely brilliant, Misa-Misa! Yuosei-chan!" the producer shouted enthusiastically- too much to be a normal person. "Having Yousei-chan on the show was great and improved our viewings by forty percent. The script was written beautifully!"

'_And cheesy...' _I thought with a roll of my eyes. However, I could not deny the fact that the events of the show were ironic, too ironic...

But it was just a show! A show with a plot and nothing more... Nothing related to actual life...

With a different ending...

--

"I'll be out late tonight Raito-kun, Gomen!"

"It's fine, I have to stay late at the office anyways, don't expect me home," he spoke with indifference.

"Okay! I love-" with a click of a button, the voice ceased and only left silence in the room.

"Why do you lie to your girlfriend?" I asked, exiting the bathroom.

"Why do you cheat on your best friend?"

Was there really an answer?

We were both in the wrong, knowing of the deed and how to simply stop it, but we didn't. I don't think we could... Like animals rely on instinct, humans do as well. It is a law that our body will not allow. We resist change, or just don't want to change...

"Same place-"

"Same time, I know."

I attempted to ignore his smirk. Whenever there was one, his eyes seemed so deep. So mysterious... It was hard to stop staring, but beyond anything, I would deny it. With my soul, I would deny ever being beaten down by something as simple as his two dark eyes.

"Just be on time. It's not professional to keep people waiting."

I gave a small smile, almost laughing at is comment. "I'm no professional. Far from it..."

"Well, until our next meeting," I turn to leave, wanting to be the one to leave first. However, before my second step, he grasped my arm lightly.

I stood in a slight shock as I gaze at his retreating form shyly. He really... I lightly touch my pale lips, barley making contact. Fearing that the slight warmth would withdraw if any pressure was applied.

'_Could he really... Did he really...'_

My mouth twitched slightly. Whatever it wanted to do, I wouldn't allow it.

Raito's form disappeared from sight, long gone from the building by now. His presence, however, still remained. And would forever remain...

"You really are confusing... God..."

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Thank you for reading, and thank you:

**aRLegOdDesS**: Thank you for all your editing! I know I'm hard to work with, but I thank you for your patience!

**chibichibimoonstar**: Thank you for your review, I hope this cleared a few thins up for you.

Sorry for not updating all too forten, but I am really busy at the moment... The pictures are up for this series and I encurage you to check it out! It's in my profile and I would love to hear from you!

-Sin


	4. Confusing

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death Note! But I do own the origional character(s) in this series.**

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"Kuro, Misa again. Pick up!.... I hate how you're ignoring me lately, I know we're both busy, but make time for me! Whatever you have on your mind you can tell me!... Call -"

My hand set on the delete button. With a frown I turn to the bedroom.

It was the second message this month. Yeah, really cares about me... When she's not talking, she's partying, or showing off her boyfriend... Raito... God...

I felt cold just thinking about them together. How could someone with such divine grace be with someone like Misa! Yeah, those were my thoughts, but was I any better?

He went with her in public, while I had his restriction to certain places and certain times. I hated to say, but I was content with that, but not with the fact of my _friend's _position...

'_Just keep your head clear, Kuro. Envy is a sin!'_

What I really needed was a hot and cold shower. Cold for my thoughts, so that I may numb them; hot for my muscles, which have been at the mercy of the photo shooters for the new cover CD.

Turning the water on, I prepare the shower, but after I discard the last of my clothes, the door just had to knock. Grabbing a towel and covering myself before answering the door.

"You need a key," I said before leaving the door ajar and walk right back into the washroom down the hall; allowing Raito to close the door behind him.

I wouldn't let his presence disturb me from a shower. For my own sake. I needed to think, cleans myself; cleans myself of more than just physical grime.

"Sorry for the delay," stepping out of the hall in a dark satin robe, my eyes advert to the man casually against the kitchen counter top.

"She called you again." It wasn't a question, but of a statement of truth. Shying my gaze away from his, the naked coffee table seemed to be a better focus point than his gaze.

"Like it makes much of a difference..."

"It does..."

A hard stare.

'_Everything is just... so confusing...'_

The night started and ended like any other. He left before I even awoke without a sound...

"Akumu-chan!"

"Oh, Satsuki-san... Did you need anything?"

I ignored the red tint on his face as he smiled. "May I walk you home?"

Getting offers like his many times, I casually agreed. He was harmless and in all sense, pretty innocent about things. Through the long walk home, he would stutter out simple questions while I reply with a 'yes' or 'no'.

"Well, here's my house. I'll be seeing you next week at the photo shoot. Ja ne!"

"Akumu-chan..."

I met his gaze, "Nani?"

It was too much of a shock to even move, happening so fast. It certainly wasn't the first time I was kissed, but how Satsuki got the nerve to do the action was beyond anyone's understanding.

Peering eyes glared through the veiled window before retreating inside.

"Atsuki-san...?"

"G-gomen nasai... I know you might not feel the same, but I just needed to get it out..."

I went inside the building without as much as a glance back at him.

'_Everything was just... so confusing... out of place...'_

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Thank you for reading! Special than you to **GBAgentOtaku** and **remapping the human soul** for reviewing the last chapter. Sorry for the delay. There's only a few more chapters left, I know that for sure... Anyways, hope to hear from you!

-Sin


	5. Content

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death Note! But I do own the original character(s) in this series.**

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In the past, love hasn't been great, even when you're a singer on the front of magazine covers. Now, when I actually have someone in mind, people start saying they want a relationship...

Life... People are just too confusing now...

Walking into to my apartment, I noticed a pair of men's shoes in the entry way.

"Raito...?"

Walking into the kitchen, he was leaning against the counter, arms crossed, silent...

"Raito? You're here early, have you been waiting long?"

Still not a sound, his bangs covered his eyes, I don't think he was even looking at me.

'_Did he see...'_

"A friend of your's?"

I gave him a hard look, placing my bag on the table.

"If you think that a simple kiss from an insignificant person is such a big deal, then what would Misa think of you?" I wasn't yelling, it was an ere calm, disappointment evident in the tone.

"A fool... A fool who got a freebie, but he did not receive it willingly..."

"And how many others were there? There's bound to be others that adore you, _Ms. Yosei_."

There was a mood, one that he's never used, at least not with me. Is he jealous?

"Think what you may, I have no proof to say otherwise, but I say this is the truth. I have never done anything against you, God..."

He never said he was in the wrong, but the subject was dropped.

-+-+-+-

For the first time, I awoke first. He was still sleeping on my right. I checked the time, it was the usual time that I got up.

'_He's still here...'_

Raito... He actually looked peaceful when he slept. I don't think there is a day in his life that he wasn't handsome, or cute, but when he slept, he had that godly glow to him.

'_Is it wrong to love a god...?'_

Pulling myself out of bed, I let him sleep; he's done the same for me. I dressed in the first thing I could find, which happened to be his shirt.

Stumbling into the kitchen, I put a pot of coffee on before I heard the shower start.

'_He must be up already...'_

By the time the coffee was done, so was he. I poured a mug full, taking a calming sip of it before making my way back to the bedroom, just as the bathroom door opened.

"You're up late..."

"Do I have to have an excuse for sleeping in?" He turned to face me, his hair still wet from the shower. I shook my head with a smile, "No, I'm not complaining."

I took a small sip of the hot coffee again, only for Raito to take it and sip some himself. He kept his gaze on me, receiving a smile too.

I think... that was the last time I was ever content with things in my house...

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Yeah, it's close to the end. Like... a chapter or two away.... There aren't any reviews, but I'm still determined to finish this series. I'll be honest and say that it hasn't turned out exactly as I've wanted it to. But, it's still my series... Thank you for taking the time to read it and I hope to hear what you think!

-Sin


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